I still don't know whether I should join this year's pornathon. I have the stupid characteristic of being loyal to the point of clinginess and now that team lust has been pushed aside...

I was sort of hoping that they would change the whole thing. Or that there would be new team names at least. It would hurt less. There were words about the teams being put on hiatus, but I can't find it in myself to believe that we will be brought back.

But I'm probably the only person shedding tears over something like that... Maybe they'll be better off without me... They won't have to deal with my breakdowns and shitty writing...

He'll live long in the minds of men. :(

We just left Pierrefonds.

 

And because I'm awfully emotionally invested in it all, I burst into tears.

 

I think I'll be terribly depressed for at least a day, maybe more.

 

If I ever have the chance to go again, I will!!!

I just finished reading a death fic. The 'funny' thing is that I started crying at the beginning when I thought that it was the sort of story where the author starts at the end, but then Uther's death was mentioned, so I thought that would be it. But then Merlin was suddenly dead, and it's been fifteen minutes now and I'm still crying and it physically hurts.

It's not the sort of crying that brings relief. No, I feel empty and betrayed.

Please, dear friends and whoever is reading this, if you ever write a death fic, use a specific 'main character death' tag instead of the usual 'character death'.

Think of us, poor sensitive souls, that are overly invested in our boys happiness.

'Cause as much as I could enjoy the author's writing style, it simply isn't worth the pain for me.

Thank you.