26 December 2016 @ 09:21 pm

Yesterday, I had really awesome dream. 

I found some weird gelatinous stuff in this old church tower and somehow that weird gelatinous stuff woke up some big humanoid machine (like really big android with silver skin) that started to roam the streets of this big city that we were in. I followed the machine with some guy who was military or police or something. Surprisingly there wasn’t any panic in the streets and it was an interesting walk around the city.

We went back to the church and I told people to stop playing with the stuff and let it cool down again so that the machine would go back to sleep mode, but they didn’t listen. 

And then Merlin arrived, all annoyed, complaining about people touching his stuff which he made as possible protection against aliens, and took the stuff from the guys playing with it. It went from pink back to white and the machine went into hiding again. 

Merlin left and the dream turned into cliche hollywood ending with me kissing the military/police guy because we were safe and he was cute.

And then I woke up, sligtly pissed off that we didn’t get any further. :D

01 October 2016 @ 08:24 pm
So I made my first T-shirt design. It's pretty simple but the idea was bugging me for weeks so it needed to be done.

It looks like this

and can be bought here: https://teespring.com/new-introvert-inside-t-shirt

I'm pretty sure I won't reach even those three buyers to get the campaign running, but I thought I'd give it a try.

There's also a tumblr post if you want to help me by reblogging (but I won't be mad if no one reblogs. The design isn't all that special.)
21 August 2016 @ 09:29 am

Found these two in French giftshops (yup, I'm camping in Pierrefonds again). Seemed very familiar. :D

In other news, I'm still heartbroken about missing a chance to join pornalot. But our Merlin location hunt was mostly succesful and I have so many photos. :)

15 June 2016 @ 09:20 pm
There’s only one man in Arthur’s life who can make him wait patiently, whose quietly spoken commands make his body thrum with sweet anticipation.

Even after centuries of shared immortal life, Merlin’s steady presence calms his mind, worries for the world fading away as pleasure takes their place.


I'm spamming everywhere, I know... But it took me two hours to make this (what others would probably manage faster and better) so it needs to be posted on as many places as possible. (It will be lost in the maze of new posts in a matter of minutes/hours, so I hope it's not much of a bother...)

Also, here you can reblog it, if you want.
12 June 2016 @ 06:19 am
yesterday at night a guy yelled "you're so fat" at me from a window of a taxi that sped past me.

At first I thought, 'yes, thank you, captain obvious', but then I realized that he didn't actually mean it like that. In our culture, saying "you're fat" is no longer just a descriptor of having extra fat. What people say by that is "you're disgusting, undesireable, unworthy of anyone's attention." That's why when you say "I'm fat" your friends will often say "oh no, you're not. You look awesome."

But what saddens me the most is that people feel it's totally fine to yell "you're ugly as fuck" at other people in the streets...

Edit: at least people don't shoot at me for being fat...
28 May 2016 @ 11:39 pm
Over a year ago, I started experimenting with wearing shorter skirts. (I used to wear only the really long ones before.) Last summer was the first time I wore a short skirt without leggings under it (but I still wore shorts under it and the skirts were about knee length. This year I started wearing even shorter skirts. They end a bit above my knees. And I'm not wearing shorts under them (except for that one that is made out of a really light fabric and lifts up with every gust of wind).

It's kind of a big breakthrough for me because up until last year I let my weight stop me from wearing anything revealing. I spent summers wrapped up in fabric because I couldn't possibly show my hideous thighs to the public. I kinda wish I could get over the need to keep my belly (can I even call it a belly when it's so huge? the word sounds so tiny and cute...) covered, but I doubt that will ever happen.

But I definitely wish the "nobody gives a shit about what you wear" was true. Because sometimes I feel like I'm wearing a clown costume and not just a T-shirt and a short skirt. The stares, sometimes disapproving. The sniggers. I heard someone say "look at that fatty" when I was leaving a supermarket today.

The way people react to fat nudity is pretty much killing me. How am I supposed to believe I'm not disgusting when that's what I hear all the time. I wonder if people think my skin is disgusting to touch, slimy maybe... Maybe they also think that we're less sensitive, that the fat blocks pain/pleasure receptors in our skin somehow.

It pains me that just because of being fat I'll always be considered less of a human.
01 May 2016 @ 09:58 pm
Merlin wants to have some artsy photos taken on their wedding day but Arthur just can’t stop smiling.


Edit: it's less of a rubbish now, I think...
09 April 2016 @ 05:10 pm
My first non Merlin drawing. :)

I made it for my friend's birthday. She's a big fan of Kingsman.

17 March 2016 @ 05:42 pm
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

The idea for the art was shamelessly stolen from another Irish Colin. :D (here)

Thanks to St. Patrick

“Is that so?” an obviously drunk guy asks after nearly falling over a chair trying to get to Merlin.

“What?” Merlin asks in reply, genuinely curious about what’s on the man’s mind.

“What your T-shirt says.”

Merlin glances down at his chest automatically, even though he knows very well the text says “everyone loves an Irish boy,” and looks back up at the blonde, searching for clues whether the question is just a kind of drunken randomness or a clumsy attempt at flirting.

“I haven’t had any complaints so far,” he says, deciding to take the risk. “But I’m not against testing the hypothesis some more.”

He’s wondering whether the other guy isn’t too drunk to keep up and for a moment it almost seems like that’s just the case, but then the blonde’s smile widens and his expressions darkens into something predatory which only feeds Merlin’s arousal more.

“What are you drinking?” the blonde asks.

15 March 2016 @ 07:06 pm
Sometimes I feel like I'm the weird one when I want everyone to be treated the same...

I'm kinda tired of listening/reading that "I don't think gay characters dying all the time is any different than hetero characters dying. There's less of them but why should it matter?" or "feminism is stupid. Show me a woman that can unload a truck."
03 February 2016 @ 12:51 pm
Title: Not Real
Author: elirwen
Rating: PG
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Word Count: ~600
Summary: Merlin deals with a panic attack.

A/N: Had a panic attack this morning. Couldn't go back to sleep afterwards. Here's the result.

Reat at ao3
Read at lj )
22 January 2016 @ 11:13 pm
Merlin is about to put on a show for Arthur. (Charcoal and dry pastels on paper.)

Click to see the fanart )
25 December 2015 @ 09:20 pm
Merry Merthur Christmas, everyone! :)

16 December 2015 @ 12:28 am
I saw this awesome manip and wanted to draw it.

I'm not sure it was the best idea, but it could have been worse. :D

Bigger version is here.

Bigger version is here.
20 November 2015 @ 10:57 pm
My keyboard stopped working and I won't get a new one until Tuesday, so until then it's just the screen keyboard (and endless clicking). So instead of programming I finished this drawing of Merlin (charcoal on paper).

 photo 2015_11_20 shadow merlin small_zpswsx8jit6.jpg
A bigger version of the picture is here.
11 November 2015 @ 03:22 am
Here, have a charcoal drawing! :)

 photo 2015_11_11 scruffy Merlin small_zpsaikni14m.jpg

Bigger version is here.
06 November 2015 @ 10:19 pm
I'm writing a fic at home and there's some Sandler romantic comedy playing in the background that my Dad is watching. There's so many jokes about fat people. It's disgusting. I hate that mainstream movies are full of that shit.
01 November 2015 @ 07:34 pm
Finished another part of my semestral project and rewarded myself by trying charcoal drawing for the first time. It's definitely much more comfortable than pencil drawing.

10 October 2015 @ 06:54 pm
Don't really know what made me put pencil to paper after so long, but I'm quite pleased with the fact that my Colin actually looks like Colin. :D