20 March 2011 @ 04:11 am
fic: Standing Still  
Title: Standing Still
Author: elirwen
Pairing: Uther & Arthur (father/son relationship), Arthur/Merlin
Rating: PG
Word Count: 340
Beta: none
Warnings: Uther's POV, set after the season three finale
Summary: The ruler in me is telling me to retire, to give you the reigns. But the father in me doesn't want to lay the weight of the crown on your head.
Notes:  Written for the merlin fandom music and lyrics comment fest, this prompt.

Read @ ao3

I can see you’ve changed. You're not the boy who used to play hide and seek in the palace gardens. Or the youth who looked up to the knights teaching him fighting skills. Not even the young man who listened to my every word, obeyed every single command without questioning.

You're adult now, not because of the age, but because of your actions.

How could I ignore the fact? Why it had to be Morgana's betrayal to finally open my eyes?
To understand that I was the one who held you back the whole time?

You make your own choices, different from mines, but always for the good of people. And they love you for it. You don't need my advice anymore and you're not even looking for it anymore. You have Merlin.

You probably think I haven't noticed. He helped you to change. He pushed you in the right direction and held you back when needed. He is what Gaius is for me, or maybe even more than that. I force myself to ignore the intimate touches and lingering looks. You deserve whatever comfort you can get.

* * *

But kingdom can't have two kings.

The ruler in me is telling me to retire, to give you the reigns. But the father in me doesn't want to lay the weight of the crown on your head.

I remember the tiredness on your face from not long ago, the protectiveness that washed over me at the sight. You were in charge for only a few weeks and still I could see the same look as the one I see in the mirror every day.

And it's the reason why I can't let you take my place. Not before I die. Even though I know the kingdom deserves better than me. It deserves someone who's not haunted by the past, clinging to all the wrong things, destroying everyone around himself.

I hope you'll understand one day. That I pushed you from power out of love, not distrust.

And then, maybe, you'll forgive me.
 
 
Current Location: Studenec, Czech republic
Current Mood: good
Current Music: Giles (Anthony Head) - Standing in the Way
 
 
( Post a new comment )
[identity profile] stella-owned.livejournal.com on March 20th, 2011 08:19 am (UTC)
Liked this very much! :D
[identity profile] elirwen.livejournal.com on March 20th, 2011 12:27 pm (UTC)
Thanks. Glad you liked. :)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) on January 1st, 2017 01:26 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] elirwen.livejournal.com on March 20th, 2011 12:40 pm (UTC)
I'm glad it worked for you. Thanks for commenting. :)
[identity profile] hardticket.livejournal.com on March 20th, 2011 11:37 am (UTC)
Wow, that was lovely. Just what I was looking for with that prompt.
[identity profile] elirwen.livejournal.com on March 20th, 2011 12:46 pm (UTC)
I'm glad I managed to fill it the way you imagined. Thanks for commenting. :)
[identity profile] hermitknut.livejournal.com on March 20th, 2011 03:02 pm (UTC)
I really love this :) It's always nice to see something from Uther's perspective, and you wrote it really well.
HK
[identity profile] elirwen.livejournal.com on March 20th, 2011 03:08 pm (UTC)
Thanks for commenting. :)
ext_270953: Merlin[identity profile] analise010.livejournal.com on March 20th, 2011 07:59 pm (UTC)
Awww. Why can't the BBC give us the tender, loving Uther that you just did? Loved this story and will now rec it to my friend. :D
[identity profile] elirwen.livejournal.com on March 20th, 2011 08:30 pm (UTC)
He is there, he's just really well hidden. I'd like to see more of him too. :)

Thanks for commenting.
[identity profile] vix-spes.livejournal.com on March 20th, 2011 08:04 pm (UTC)
I loved this!

It's so rare to see an Uther that we all know has to be there somewhere under all of those barriers and I thought you wrote him brilliantly, especially the way that he feels about Arthur and the burdens of kingship.

It was also nice to see Uther acknowledging Merlin - I loved the way you compared the relationship between Merlin and Arthur to that of Uther and Gaius.
[identity profile] elirwen.livejournal.com on March 20th, 2011 08:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you for your kind comment.

Uther isn't blind. I believe he just has to be noticing the closeness between Arthur and Merlin. They're too obvious. :D
[identity profile] welshinnit.livejournal.com on March 21st, 2011 09:50 pm (UTC)
For some reason this made me a bit sad, but in a good way. Loved it and will read it quite a few times :-)
[identity profile] elirwen.livejournal.com on March 21st, 2011 10:48 pm (UTC)
You have no idea, how happy this comment makes me. That somebody is actually going to read my story more than once. :)

Thanks. ;)
[identity profile] archaeologist-d.livejournal.com on March 24th, 2011 03:36 pm (UTC)
This was a great way to show Uther's love for his son and his realization of how much he'd hurt Arthur.
[identity profile] elirwen.livejournal.com on March 25th, 2011 10:05 am (UTC)
Thanks. I'm glad you like it. :)